The Things Fans Wrote
by TenshiKaitou
Summary: [SasuNaru; Shounen-Ai] When Sasuke got himself a computer completed with internet access, he just might stumble upon some interesting fanfictions that we fans wrote...First attempt at trying to be funny...
1. Chappie 1

Disclaimer: Last I checked, I'm just a rabid fan of Naruto.

Warning: Shounen-Ai (Boy X Boy) Kissing. Touching. No sex...

A/N: I love reviews. I want reviews. I demand reviews. I command reviews. Oh kami, just gimme reviews. Another thing, my first time attempting humour...if I failed badly, please say so but in a NICE way...don't flame me...my heart is weak. (lol)

Note: Italics is about the online story.

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He, Uchiha Sasuke, was never one to follow trends. So, it came as a surprise to him when he bought a computer under persuasion of others. And now, the foreign object sat in his room, freshly booted up after a few hours of wrestling with those unfamiliar technical terms. Next on the list, he found out that he need a 'mouse' to get the arrow moving on the screen and genius or not, he felt a migraine coming on as he slumped back in his chair in exasperation. Kami-sama, this evil contraption was even more irritating than Naruto, the boy thought, the beginning of an annoyed twitch on his forehead.

Another Hour Later Again

Night has settled, spreading shapeless fingers over half of the round globe, encasing it in intimate darkness. In one particular room of a particular mansion, a dark-haired youth regarded the computer that sat before him in wariness, a perfect scowl on his lips. Finally, Sasuke has had got the confusing piece of technology figured out, on the partake of some pretty nasty trail-and-errors, that was. Not satisfied until he see results, the Uchiha heir went online to see what was the craze that has been taking Konoha by storm these days, about. Coming to the Acer homepage, he gaped bewilderedly for a moment, totally at a loss of what to search for. Long, tapered fingers hesitated over the keyboard before typing out the first word that the owner could think of-Naruto. Immediately, the search was processed and a long list of matches pounced to view. Scrolling down through the various hyperlinks, Sasuke looked on with waning interest. What's so great about this? The boy thought. Miffed, he was about to give up when he spotted a link with fanfictions dedicated to the blonde himself. What? That dobe actually has fans who wrote stories about him? Sasuke exclaimed inwardly, a trimmed eyebrow arching upwards curiously. Unable to resist, he clicked on the link and was send to another page full of new links and summaries. Strangely enough, he noted that Naruto's name was paired up with many of their comrades in the way of ShikaNaru, KakaNaru and even SasuNaru. Lapsing into an even more confused silence, the dark-haired boy innocently selected a random story about him and Naruto...

_"Naruto..."_

_"Sasuke..."_

_Enclosed in the privacy of a darkened room, the two boys regarded each other seriously. Nervously, the blonde bit his lower lip, blue eyes shying away from that of the Uchiha boy. _

_"I want you..." Naruto then requested boldly, a faint blush coloring the bridge of his nose. _

_How cute, the raven-haired guy smiled inwardly. Closing the distance between them, he whispered, "Me too..." and bend over to capture those soft lips with his almost hungrily. Meanwhile, his hands fluttered to Naruto's head and tangled themselves in those soft golden spikes, holding the blonde in place. Groaning softly, he was invited for a deeper kiss as the other opened his mouth willingly. Tongue delving into the moist warm cavern of Naruto's mouth, Sasuke could not help the delicious shudder that ran up his spine. _

The Uchiha heir was mortified by what he saw. Definitely the last thing he ever expected to read about both him and Naruto, he opened his mouth and closed it again in soundless chokes, like a fish out of water. However, as though entranced by the fanfiction, he continued to read on...

_Breaking off their passionate kiss, Naruto found himself pressed against the wall. Leaning back, he exposed his neck to Sasuke, moaning slightly as the boy's talented lips traveled down his jawline and onto his collarbone, nibbling and kissing feverishly. Stretching fingers under the Uchiha's shirt, the blonde pushed the cotton material upwards to reveal pale toned flesh. Playfully, he raked his fingernails lightly over a hardened nipple, grinning sadistically as the taller boy cried at the touch. _

_Not to be outdone, Sasuke trailed kisses down to Naruto's abdomen, tongue flicking softly over the spiral seal. His hands slide further downwards to a noticeable bulge in the blonde's pants... _

Subconsciously, Sasuke crossed his legs as he continued the story, breaths coming out in cropped gasps.

Few Hours Later

A rude pounding on the door alerted Sasuke of a visitor. Looking up from the monitor, he realized with surprise that it was already morning. That means I spent the whole night reading fanfictions...the Uchiha heir thought guiltily, feet moving slowly in a shuffle towards the door. Grumpily, he swung open the door to find the least expected guest standing at the entrance...Oh kami...the last logical thought flitted across Sasuke's mind as he stared wordlessly at Naruto. In his mind, dreadfully sinful words like 'soft lips,' 'smooth skin,' 'sweet moans,' 'throaty cries,' and 'so tight' danced teasingly about. Oh kami...

Naruto stared back at the silent Sasuke, taking in the black circles around his eyes and the tousled hairstyle. For an amused second, he noted that the other was looking at him with a zombified gaze. Otherwise, he did not realize anything wrong with the raven-haired boy. "Oi, I want you..." to spar with me...Naruto wanted to say when his last few words was cut off by the sudden spark in Sasuke's eyes as he snapped his head up. Alarm bells started to go off in the blonde's head as he was rewarded by a hungry, wolfy look in the Uchiha's eyes. Slowly backing away, Naruto was just about to make a run for freedom when Sasuke pounced on him...

One Hour Later

Sasuke gazed into a distance, back propped comfortably against the bed's headboard. Beside him, a sniveling lump hid under the blanket wailing almost comically. In-between the blabbered cries, the Uchiha boy could make out a few muttered curses like 'Uchiha bastard' and 'Hentai disciple'. It was only after a while before the crying subdued, and Sasuke brushed apart the blanket to reveal a head of golden spikes and naked shoulders. The want to apologize immediately fled his mind as he once again found himself fixated on the bared expanse of creamy tanned skin. "Naruto..." he called softly.

"What?" Naruto sniffled.

"..."

"...?"

"Want to go a second time?" the dark-haired shinobi blurted out.

"...?"

"Argh...HENTAI!"

_Owari_

A/N: Review...Don't break my writer's heart...


	2. Chappie 2

Disclaimer: Naruto. Not. Mine.

A/N: Initially, I have meant for The Things Fans Wrote to be a one-shot fic. So, when I received so many reviews asking for a closure/continuation to it, I were shocked. And feeling darn helpless too. Because I do not know how to continue! Anyway, after so long, I decided to take a gamble and hereby present to mina-san the second installment of TTFW. Hope you enjoy my dry humor. That is if it even exist at all…

P.S Most of all, I would like to thank all of TTFW reviewers! You guys are fabulous!

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**The Things Fans Wrote**

**Part 2**

He would not cry again. He would not give the sick Uchiha bastard the satisfaction of seeing his tears a second time. Afterall, he was the great Uzumaki Naruto. So, no more tears. Pronto. Full-stop. End of sentence. Yes, he was not one to be afraid of that arrogant guy. Really. Even after how he was pushed to the floor mercilessly. Straddled on the hip. With his beloved orange jumper ripped to tatters in the frenzy. And…and...body explored by that ta-ahem-lented tongue. Making him moaned and bucked like crazy. Yes, he still was not one to be afraid of that arrogant guy. But, seriously, does Sasuke has to test his patience? That guy has been staring at his back for the past 30 minutes in silence. If not for the sounds of his breathing, Naruto would have swore that the raven-haired boy was dead. Not that he would mind at all.

Unable to suppress his rising irritation, Naruto whirled around to face the Uchiha heir. "What?" he demanded hotly, nearly popping a vein as he did so. His cerulean eyes flashed angrily and he jabbed a finger into Sasuke's pale chest, yelling in an almost high-pitched voice. "What do you want, teme?"

"A second go?" Sasuke deadpanned.

Naruto dropped open his jaw. Literally. How stupider could that bastard get? Did he, Uzumaki Naruto, looked that desperate for a second go? (A/N: YES!;D )

"Joking." Sasuke smirked in immediate follow-up, not even giving Naruto a chance to squeak. Let alone scream back at him. "Actually, I want to apologize. I practically forced myself on you. So sorry."

Never mind that the joke was stale and the apology sarcastic, but this was the most unbelievable news of the year. Century even. Era moreover. Uchiha Sasuke, the I-got-a-stick-stuck-up-my-ass Ice Bitch just officially gone cuckoo. Yes, that would explained why he jumped Naruto. "Who are you and what have you done to the real Sasuke?" the blonde gaped.

"What are you talking about, baka?"

"I'm not a baka!"

"You are…"

"Am not!"

"You are…"

"Am not!"

"You are…"

"Am not. Sasuke is the baka one here. You are the one who decided…" Naruto blushed as his stupid mouth trailed off with its intended words, "to jump me out of a sudden and do those…those…HENTAI STUFF!"

"Sex."

"What?" Naruto sputtered.

"What we have done is called 'SEX'." Sasuke repeated offhandedly.

"I KNOW WHAT IT IS!" the blonde yelled. "AND DO NOT SAY THAT WORD! IT SOUNDS SO VULGAR!"

"Another term would be 'making love'." The Uchiha heir offered helpfully again.

"THAT'S WORSE. WE'RE NOT LOVERS!" Naruto interjected, cheeks aflame.

"Okay…" Sasuke pondered for a moment. "Then, how about the word 'intercourse'?"

"THIS IS NOT A SCIENCE LESSON! AND WHY IN THE KAMI'S WORLD ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS?" The kyuubi-boy jumped to his feet, pointing accusingly at the other.

"Naruto, you're flashing me…"

"…What?" A confused expression came over the blonde's face at Sasuke's comment. As usual, he could not understand his rival's words.

Sighing audibly, the raven-haired boy vaguely motioned with his hands in the direction of Naruto's lower regions. This made the blonde to look down and almost promptly, his jaw dropped open. He was naked from waist down! Apparently, he has dropped the blanket that provided him the necessary decency when he jumped up.

"ARGH! SASUKE YOU THIS ERO-PERVERT!" a shrill scream literally rocked the room.

"WHAT? YOU'RE THE FLASHER HERE! NOT ME!" Sasuke roared back, rubbing his poor abused ears.

"KUSO! FACE THE WALL! DON'T LOOK!"

"…"

"AND STOP DROOLING!" Naruto flung a pillow at Sasuke.

_Owari…?_

A/N: Installment 3 coming up much later. I got my internet connection cut off so I got to come out specially to rent a computer. Kinda troublesome…Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of you kicked me off your Author Alert list now. This chappie sucks…(wails) I still can't figure out how to put in the feelings the boys felt for each other into the story without making them a major OCC!


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